“The Twelve Dirtbags of Christmas”
My friends gather round for the truest of phrase
A list of the dozen most dirt-baggy ways
We do this in love and in all the best fun
Because most of you reading, probably know one
First is the dude without any food
He waits by the fire as not to be rude
Then 10 minutes into your dinner fiesta
He snags a tortilla and didn’t even ask ya
Second we have the one without any car
Who somehow has managed to come from a far
When morning light comes, let this be known
He’ll be waiting by your car asking “Where we all goin!?”
Another has come here without any rack
No harness, no chalk, not even a snack
He’s got Tevas and Zip-offs and tape for good luck
He owned a rope once but then got it stuck.
I smell number 4 from a mile away
I bet he picks your tent to sleep in this day
Number 5 is the one who has lived here for years
In the middle of the desert, drinking nothing but beer
Then 6 through 11 are all about the same
They all live in vans and no one knows their name
Last is the 12th and i’m sure that you know em’
It’s you!!! Cause why else would you open this poem?
Happy holidays you glorious community of awesome!
Love, Chili Beard