The Twelve Dirtbags of Christmas – A Poem of Love

“The Twelve Dirtbags of Christmas”

My friends gather round for the truest of phrase

A list of the dozen most dirt-baggy ways

We do this in love and in all the best fun

Because most of you reading, probably know one

First is the dude without any food

He waits by the fire as not to be rude

Then 10 minutes into your dinner fiesta

He snags a tortilla and didn’t even ask ya

Second we have the one without any car

Who somehow has managed to come from a far

When morning light comes, let this be known

He’ll be waiting by your car asking “Where we all goin!?”

Another has come here without any rack

No harness, no chalk, not even a snack

He’s got Tevas and Zip-offs and tape for good luck

He owned a rope once but then got it stuck.

I smell number 4 from a mile away

I bet he picks your tent to sleep in this day

Number 5 is the one who has lived here for years

In the middle of the desert, drinking nothing but beer

Then 6 through 11 are all about the same

They all live in vans and no one knows their name

Last is the 12th and i’m sure that you know em’

It’s you!!! Cause why else would you open this poem?

Happy holidays you glorious community of awesome!

Love, Chili Beard

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